the clock struck at 12.
30 minutes more...
don't ask me how, or why.
but the sentiment just GUSHED in a second, all into my core.
my heart was pumping horribly fast,
I WAS ANXIOUS.
I tried to keep myself sitting down at my seat,
but i can't.
ended up walking to friends, telling them,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW.
they told me,
DON'T CRY,
and i said,
I CAN'T EVEN TALK NOW!
goodness.
and then the bell rang.
packed my stuffs,
walked to the library.
i always walk with my head upright,
not wanting to bump on anyone...
and try to smile all the time.
but just now was different.
i just couldn't lift my head,
eye contacts might make me lose control instantly,
was looking on the floor,
walking, reaching.
i entered the library,
most of them were there.
some seated, some standing,
some happy, some sad.
but just sat down,
i had to calm down,
i had a last speech to deliver!
but it was useless......
I COULDN'T CONTROL...
and let my feelings flowed...
few minuted before the ceremony started,
went out of the library,
had to get some air.
drank water, breathed, and re-entered.
sat down, it started.
streams of tears started flowing when they addresed me as 'Pengerusi Lembaga PPS, saudara Yeoh Aun Chian'
It was, my last time...
being addressed as the pengerusi....
wanted to hold back the tears.
but my body was shivering, trembling,
i couldn't help it,
RELEASED IT.
Ny rational told me not to cry.
but my instinct drove me towards the crying point,
and i listened to my heart, my feelings....
The new chairwoman, sheauen,
gave her speech in front.
she thanked me to be her mentor,
and that gave me another impact.
the flow of tears became faster,
luckily someone gave me a piece of tissue,
i don't know who was that some one,
was busy wiping my tears.
THANK YOU.
(was blamed to cause others to have tears spilling too)
then it was my last speech.
was still with tears when i stood in front.
found it super difficult to start my first sentence.
way impossible.
then i calmed myself,
i started...
Form 1,
from the first day of school,
i have 2 aims.
1st, get 100% attendance every single year. (and up to now, i still have my 100%)
2nd, attend the majlis anugerah kurikulum every year (up to now, attained)
I was the class monitor that year.
Attended the first interview, interviewed by derrick,
didn't know him yet that time, he knew me because of my brother.
was super confident, but, FAILED...
(still wondering why did i fail??)
decided to continue on as a monitor,
couldn't do any thing else.
2nd interview, i retried.
and, PASSED!
WAS SUPER HAPPY.
entered kumpulan pinjaman.
my first senior was yuen-yi,
she was the one to evaluate me, haha.
then one day, they called for a meeting.
i was still with my student uniform that day, didn't even know what was going to happen.
and then, AJK announcement.
thought it was none of my business.
i was in the 2nd batch, chance was minimal,
so, i didn't expect anything.
but,
Ketua Pinjaman- Yeoh Aun Chian
Naib pengerusi- Yeoh Aun Chian
and i was like,
WHAT>?!
REALLY?
and i knew from that day, i have to do something for the board!
That year, i had a different year end holiday.
went to school almost every day.
I still remember, library was under renovation that year,
there were no tiles on the floor yet,
so, went and helped to bring out alll the books and rak.
also, to help in the making of the backdrop for majlis perpisahan that year.
The holiday was, different.
and i started liking busy holidays.
haha.
Form 2,
1st schooling day,
and my life started to be busy.
on the first day,
mayshan, the penolong pinjaman and i,
were supposed to back up the computers,
but, we forgot the password!
and we were like, lol?! what to do????
luckily, the password flashed through my brain,
punched it in, and i was in!
haha! it is a memory.
that year, i was over strict,
over sensitive,
over narrow minded.
minor mistakes of others,
i really could remember,
for months.
haha,
but that very bad habit just disappeared when i started to have more and more stuffs to remember.
and my brain was of better use than that.
and i started to learn how to forgive,
how to simply ignore.
(all these changed only when i was in form 3, a year more matured)
That year also,
i was rather 'class-minded'
when i see students from A class,
i would perceive them as good ones,
if they are from the last few classes,
i would underestimate them, as weak ones...
(this thinking totally changed,
when i started to know more people,
to know the REALITY)
Year 2008, was my busiest year, of all.
Form 3,
a year which i underwent metamorphosis, maturing...
enjoyed 6 months of life without need to wear my tie all the time.
the first activity i handled was the kursus asas, the calons that year are already form 3 now.... see? time fliesssssssssssssssssssssssss.
life was as busy as form 2,
because in morning session,
there were so many more stuffs to handle, so many more activities, so many more fun!
haha, and then,
in june,
Naib Pengerusi- Yeoh Aun Chian
and my partner was Phebe,
under the leadership of wenhui.
i still remember wenhui's aim,
to strengthen the bond among librarians!
Form 4,
since early in the year,
i was taking over the job as the pengerusi.
life was easier that year.
i have learnt,
how to communicate,
how to lead,
how to even speak.
was already different.
but also starting from that year,
i started not being able to remember all my juniors' names.
there were soooo many of them.
not including st john's.
haha,
so tried my best.
handled kursus asas that year too,
i was the pengerusi,
and i told myself,
i really have to build good pps to-be
after passing the calons,
they started their practical test,
their performance was terrible.
absent from duty and meetings,
not being disciplined.
i had a headache,
was thinking very hard,
what should i do?
to train them,
to nurture them,
to build them>>?
reprimanded in meetings,
advised personally,
did every thing i could.
29/04/11,
we created history.
It was the first time we had a librarian meeting outside of the library-
we had it beside the basketball court.
In that meeting,
i aimed to let them know how serious are their problems,
to wake them up if they are still sleeping,
and of course, to try a different approach after advising for so many times.
i wasn't sure if the approach would be effective,
but i gave it a shot.
reprimanded the juniors who were at fault one by one.
mentioned their names,
scolded on the spot.
No more hiding,
no more protectng their dignity.
but, to expose every thing.
i got over agitated,
out of control myself.
slammed files,
dumped books, papers.
was crazy.
some juniors cried,
they have never seen me being do indignant.
i nearly bursted crying,
was thinking, are all these hurtings necessary?
the seniors were all worried for me.
haha,
but!
the approach was proven EFFECTIVE.
after that meeting,
i never had to scold any of them anymore,
nor did i have to remind them.
only then, they knew where they stand,
when they are supposed to do,
what they aren't.
was very very glad,
when that meeting didn't make me far far away from them.
this bunch of juniors,
are special.
after all these scolding,
they celebrated my birthday with me,
they made thank you card for us during chinese new year,
and most recently,
they prepared a PURPLE PROJECT, specially for me.
I feel proud of them.
being able to stand by themselves now,
without me.
and then, it was announced,
Pengerusi- Yeoh Aun Chian
The night before the announcement,
i was super duper anxious.
it only dawned on me that night, that i am the leader!
and how did i destress?
i went out and cycle for a few rounds around my residential area.
it was almost midnight.
crazy huh?
haha, thought of my aim, my objective.
asked myself,
why did i join the board?
and my answer was,
to learn.
hence, i got my objective clear,
i wanna let as many librarians as possible to learn.
to learn at least something.
involved different ajks in activities.
tried to give every one a chance.
organised The Production of Elite.
It was all my idea.
if we have course for calons, why not for qualified librarians?
formed the strongest team of AJK ever, the smallest one ever too.
the main talk was given by me.
wanted to learn,
also,
let others to learn.
it wasn't easy to start from zero.
spent 2 months to prepare my presentation,
i remember, it was near to exam.
spared enough time,
to complete every thing.
and then year end,
a sombre jubilation.
mentioned about the success for numerous times, this would be the last.
haha,
still the best event i have handled.
taking into account the extraordinary difficulty i faced from the hotel's coordinator,
from the ex form 5s.
crazily held a meeting to blast the ex form 5s.
just wanted them to know we are ready to appreciate, but we needed the chance.
heard sounds of boycotts, of dissatisfaction.
i didn't bother,
i was confident,
i would make it impactful.
with the ajks' support,
with the support of those who attended.
we made it!
every one said it was the best night ever.
whenever i hear a person saying,
i was smiling in my heart,
a smile of relief.
when i critisized the form 5,
i was taking a huge risk.
what if the night didn't turn up well?
i would be shamed.
haha, but i was determined enough.
News topped facebook for a week plus.
statuses, photos.
was JUBILANT.
aimed to make the form5s to cry,
and it was partially achieved.
now, with relief.
HAHAHA!
i am smiling, proudly!
Form 5,
since early in the year,
i prepared myself for my retirement.
was thinking hard,
what could i do to help the new ones.
tried my best to sit down together with them.
analysed their problems together,
tried to solve them together.
hope it WILL help them.
of course,
i get disappointed at times when they just simply fail to manage things well.
but i told myself,
to give then chances to improve.
noone is born perfect.
The initial date of my retirement was on the friday before diagnostic (29/4/11)
since monday of the week, my mood started to be BLUE.
DARK BLUE.
i wasn't happy,
to leave the board.
i got super sentimental.
simple scenes could have driven me to tears.
like looking at old photos,
looking at the cute juniors,
looking at the lonely students in school.
wait!
SINCE WHEN I AM THAT SENTIMENTAL>?
haha...
every night,
i wasn't in mood,
had to text friends to get comfort.
but i wasn't convinced.
many of them said you have done a great job,
so retire proudly.
but i still wasn;t ready to retire.
even when i have simple chats with friend,
i wan't in good mood,
was ready to cry any time.
luckily i managed to hold back until thurs night,
when miss ma told me,
'why not, we postpone the ceremony until after exam, after holiday>?'
and my mood swung!
i was instantly, delighted.
haha,
announced to all the ajks on the next day.
and was my happy self again.
if the ceremony was on that friday,
i would have cried for an hour?
officially,
i passed down my post to sheauen.
the new leader of the board,
on last friday, 17 JUNE 2011.
being the chairman made me a more confident person,
a more organised and systematic person,
and of course, a more matured person.
my social circle expanded.
knowing people much young and much older than me.
having friends who are ready to support.
and of course,
got the chance to deal with so so so so so many unique people.
fame and power came in naturally.
these aren't what i aimed for.
never were, never are.
My name became noticeable among people whom i don't know.
i somehow became the icon of pps,
always being called as pps,
and even burger!
because of last year's carnival.
haha... amusing.
One more thing which i gained.
PRICELESS, INVALUABLE MEMORIES.
happy ones,
sad ones....
they are all deeeeeply engraved in my pages of life.
which i can never forget.
every second spent,
was worthed it.
Next week, next month, what would my life be?
Where is the first destination of mine when i reach school next week?
my legs will bring me to the library...
how about next month?
my instinct will stilol bring me there!
definitely.
The best decision that i have made in my life,
made me what i am today,
made me who i am today,
made my life to be so extraordinary, so different.
which was to hold the pen,
and register.
I decided to be a librarian...
-------End of speech---------------------
haha, it was my longest one, for 15 minutes. (started to sweat halfway, but i dunno why)
glad to know from others that it was not boring at all, but awesome.
was scared it will bore them to death.
even non-librarians were asking what was it about,
because of the publicity about it in facebook...
proven, true feelings worth more than anything.
miss ma gave her speech,
she had red eyes and nose too.
haha.
then,
we raced through the presentation of report by the secretary and treasurer because of the short of time.
and then it was present exchange.
put my bunch of keys into a blue box i prepared,
shook it for a few times to listen to its last sound,
and handed it over to sheauen.
together with my duty, my responsibility, my honour.
and then, out of sudden,
'sekarang dipersilakan pengerusi sesi petang, saudari tan hui chi untuk menyampaikan hadiah kepada saudara yeoh aun chian'
was shocked, didn't know what to expect.
and ended up,
holding a PURPLE PROJECT
*photos on it have been posted in facebook.
photos of me,
of the cute juniors.
i am still wondering how did they hide it from me when i am all the time in the library.
someone told me they had the door of the bilik kerja GUARDED when they were preparing.
haha,
love the book!
then the ajk took their oath,
and then it was photo session.
(the form 5s were busy peeking at the PURPLE PROJECT,
laughing at my naive and chubby photo when i was in from 2,
impressive of the junior sto be able to grab that pic)
again, i was lifted up of my chair during the free style session by the bunch of form 4 AJKS.
was TOTALLY SHOCKED, didn't expect that.
haha, had it been a tradition?
then it was makan makan session.
PIZZA!
got back home and read through every single element in the purple project.
was melted.
P.S:
4 years passed in a glimpse of eye.
It was like yesterday.
The board has made up a huge part of my life,
together with the fantastic people in it,
the every single thing in it.
I am blessed greatly,
to be given the chance,
to stand in front.
to lead.
Thank you,
every single librarian who i love,
who i will never forget.
Thank you,
the teacher advisors,
especially Miss Ma,
for trusting me.
The Odyssey has been compacted with all sorts of elements.
A jubilant odyssey,
an odyssey like no others.
I am contented, glad.
The status which got 62 likes in Fb
'4年后的今天，我，退休了。
今天，我，哭了。为了那满满的回忆，为了那些我永远记得的成员。
今天，我，笑了。为了那些我留下的行迹，为了那些我培养的人才，为了那些无价， 的一切。'
aunchian
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